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Sunday, November 17, 2013

The mantra Om Mani Padme Hum

Om Mani Padme Hum - the Mantra of Christ

chenresig

(The information is extracted from Gnostic teachings)

In every religion, in every tradition, there is always a foundation or presentation of a universal cosmic force at the base of life. That force or energy has different names according to the languages and psychologies of those various traditions, names like Allah, Tao, Brahma, Quetzalcoatl, and many more. In the Gnostic tradition, we call it Christ.

The word Christ comes from the Greek root Christos (Χριστός), which has different meanings depending on the context within which we use the word. The esoteric meaning of the word Chrestos is fire, which refers not to physical fire, but to the foundational energy that gives rise to all living things. Christ is the source of life, the source of living.


Everything that exists is the body of Christ; every atom, every particle, every energy, has that force or energy that we call Christ. Every religion and spiritual tradition has its own names, symbols, and myths about that energy, which help us to understand that energy, because as the very basis of living, it is very difficult to comprehend. Our mind is very limited in its capacity to understand the infinite, which is what Christ is. Christ is infinite life.


In the Sanskrit language, that force at the level at which it first emerges into existence is called Amitabha, which means infinite light. Thus it is called the Buddha Amitabha: which translated directly, means "the awakened limitless light," or infinite light. That light is the fire of Chrestos; it is not physical light, or physical fire, it is the light or fire of existence itself.




Amitabha


In Kabbalah, that infinite light or limitless light is called Ain Soph Aur, which also means limitless light. So, in these three traditions are three different names for the same energy.


This painting shows the Buddha Chenrezig, which is a Tibetan word that is indicating the same energy. Chenrezig in Sanskrit is called Avalokiteshvara.




Avalokiteshvara or Chenrezig represents the full and complete compassion of Christ that manifests in existence. When the Ain Soph Aur first becomes, it is Chenrezig, Avalokiteshvara. It is the compassion of all the Gods. Chenrezig, or Avalokiteshvara is the love in every Buddha or Angel; all of them combined are Chenrezig, Avalokiteshvara, Christ. So, if you use your imagination and try to visualize all of the Buddhas in the entire field of existence, all of the Angels, all of the Masters, all of the Devas, all of the Gods, and how much love they have, all of that love is Chenrezig, Avalokiteshvara.


This image shows Chenrezig sitting on a lotus, and that lotus sits on a mantra. That mantra on this graphic is written in Tibetan, and the mantra is Om Manipadme Hum. Those Sanskrit letters are written here in Tibetan, because that mantra is the special providence of the protector deity of Tibet, who is Chenrezig, Avalokiteshvara. So, this is our topic for today: Om Manipadme Hum – to understand what that is, what it means, what is Christ, and how they relate.




The Six-syllable Mantra




Om Manipadme Hum: these are the letters of this mantra. It has six letters, and in this graphic you see that each one has a different color. The colors are symbolic and important. We see here five primary colors that are important in all Buddhism: yellow, green, white, blue, and red. The five colors relate to five elements. They also relate to five afflictions, the five poisons, and other aspects of the teachings. The sixth color, which in this particular image is a dark blue, also can be black. The six colors relate to the six worlds, the six bardos, the six paramitas, the six types of beings, and more. They have very deep significance.


These are Tibetan letters, six syllables; each one has importance and meaning. They start from left to right, just like English.


The first one, which is white, is Om. The letter Om is a mantra from Sanskrit, from Hinduism. Om sounds like one sound, but it is actually three sounds, and in the Tibetan letter we can see those three components very clearly. I will come back to that to explain more about the Om.


The second letter, which is green, is Ma. The third, which is yellow, is Ni. The fourth is blue, Pad, which is actually two letters, but one syllable. The fifth, is Me, which is written enclosing the Pad. The final is Hum, which is black.


The mantra begins with Om, and that letter has three components, which relate to the three forces, the Trikaya, the Trinity. The bottom portion, the largest part, is the Tibetan letter Ah. It is the Tibetan equivalent of what is known in Hebrew Kabbalah as Kether, the Father, the Crown. Just above that Ah is a dashed line, which represents the letter O. This relates to Chokmah in Kabbalah. At the very top is the Tibetan letter M, which is written as a circle; incidentally, in Hebrew and in Sanskrit, the M is written as an enclosed shape, a circle or square. The same is true in Tibetan. Thus, the the syllable Om has three parts. We often write the mantra long form as AOM or AUM.


You may have heard that the vowel or mantra Om is the most important mantra. This is because this mantra encodes or symbolizes Christ. Christ has three forces that work in harmony to create. All life emerges as a result of the power of creation, and creation is always a combination of three factors. This is why every religion has a trinity as its foundation. Christianity has the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Hinduism has Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva. Kabbalah has Kether, Chokmah, and Binah. The Egyptians had Osiris, Isis, and Horus. In every religion—the Nordic, the Egyptian, even in Masonry—we find those factors, three forces. In the Gnostic tradition, we call them the Logos. This is because, in the book of John in the Christian Bible, it says:


In the beginning was the Logos.


The book of John is written in Greek. The word Logos is Greek, and is usually translated as "word." In scripture, Logos does not refer to a written or physical word. Logos refers to the sound that emerges from the emptiness. If we consider a thought as a concept or message that is unmanifested, when we speak it, the word that emerges is logos. Similarly, the Logos is the expression or manifestation of a message or intelligence. In other words, the emptiness or Unmanifested Light had the impulse of creation, an archetype that needed to become something, and when that archetype expresses and starts to become something, that is Logos. So, in Buddhism, this is represented by Amitabha, the infinite light, manifesting Chenrezig out of compassion for all beings. The infinite light, Amitabha, sees the suffering of all beings, and recognizes the need to do something, thus Chenrezig appears; that is the Logos: the Manifested Light.






The Logos is a trinity, a unity of three forces: 
Positive 
Negative 
Neutral 




In any form of creation, there are three forces at work. For example, for you to have your physical body, you two parents had sex. Your father represents the positive or active force, your mother represents the receptive or passive force, and sex is the force that unified them. Your body was the result.


Om represents the creative (sexual) power of nature. Om represents the manifestation of the Absolute, it is the vibration of Creation: three forces in motion. We say "Om," but hidden in that are three sounds: A-O-M.


When we look at that more closely on the Tree of Life, we see at the very top of the Tree of Life, the Absolute, Amitabha, the infinite light that first emanates as the upper Trinity on the Tree of Life. That Trinity is the three forces that begin to create all living things - in other words, manifestation begins. What does that imply? It implies a change from the Absolute Primordial Emptiness, to something. That happens because of Karma. It happens because of causes that have been put into motion in the past, that must be answered. It happens because all of us have setup causes in the past that have to be solved, and it happens because the infinite light seeks to perfect compassion, through us. The only way that can happen, is if we are here, alive, with the chance to act, using those energies of the three forces in ourselves. Those energies of the three forces come through us in many ways – we have three nervous systems: the central, sympathetic and grand sympathetic. We have three brains: Intellect, Heart and Body. We need to use those three forces in every motion of ourselves, physically, emotionally and mentally, but consciously. In order to take advantage of those forces, and use them in manifestation wisely. So, what we see then, is Om here, at the top of the Tree of Life. If we superimpose this graphic over our physical body, the feet are related with Malkuth, at the bottom. The top of the head, with Kether at the top. So, that Om vibrates from the Infinite above, throughout our entire being. Those three sounds synthesized in that mantra, create everything, including ourselves. So, the use of that mantra is quite powerful. This is the breakdown of this specific meanings of these words.


Mani, which is the second set of syllables, Ma and Ni, means:


stone
jewel
anything round
phallus
clitoris

Mani comes from the root Sanskrit term, Ma, which means "to create."

It is quite obvious that all the meanings of this word are all related. What in our body is the strongest magnetic force that we have? Sex, there is nothing stronger in us than that power. The sexual power is the power to create, and it is a magnet, which can attract or repel. That magnet is most powerful in the sexual organs, and it is the power of Ma, the Mother.

The syllable Ma is used worldwide for Mother: Ma, Amma, Uma, Oma, Mama, Mother, Mater.

In Sanskrit, Ma means "to create." Who has that power? The Mother. How does the Mother have the power to create? Through sex. There is no other way. As we always state, in every esoteric tradition:

As Above, So Below, and As Below, So Above.

If, physically, the only way to create life is through sex, it is also true above, spiritually. The only way to create spiritual life, is through sex, but as Chenrezig shows it: holding the Mani stone, as a prayer, at his heart. This is the only way to create in harmony with the Divine, through prayerful, pure, sexuality.

The second set of syllables, Padme, means lotus, but it also is a symbol for the vagina. This is a very obvious symbol that most people, especially who have studied art history, know very well; throughout the centuries and in pretty much every culture, flowers have been used to represent feminine sexual potency, even as late as the recent century with artist like George O'Keeffe. But, in previous eras, throughout time, and in every culture, flowers represent the unfolding of creation which happens through the vagina. The child is created through that.

The final syllable is Hum. This is the syllable that is represented with the color black. Hum synthesizes the entire mantra. Hum sounds like Om. It is almost the same, but it has an H. The H is mantra of the breath. The Logos is the thought, the imagination of God that comes into being through a word, and that word can only express through breath. This is why the Aztec priests, when they were asked by the Conquistador priests, "What is the name of your God?" the Aztec priests said, "Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." It is the power of the breath that creates through the Word.


So, here in these six syllables - Om Ma Ni Pad Me Hum – we see the creative power of God, the creative power of any Buddha, which is sexual, which is why every religion has emphasized the importance of pure sexuality and has told its strongest initiates that to advance to the highest levels of the tradition, you must retain that sexual energy and transform it. Not to spend it like a beast, not be lustful, but to harness that energy and make it pure. This is why initiates in traditions were converted into monks and nuns, to enter into a period of preparation in which they retained that energy, were not hypnotized by any form of lust or distraction sexually, and could learn to work with that energy directly, until the time came when they were prepared to enter into a relationship to fully harness that energy. This is hidden throughout the Bible, it is hidden throughout Tantra. It was never made public, and that is because most of us have never been interested, we have only been interested in satisfying our desires. In these six syllables is the synthesis of the entire teaching. Any real spiritual teaching, anywhere in the world, has this synthesis in its heart. It may not be visible now, because of degeneration, because of politics, because of the interest that people have to corrupt their traditions and take power, but it is always there, hidden.
The Jewel in the Lotus


most people say that Om Manipadme Hum means "the Jewel in the Lotus." That is because Mani can mean jewel, and Padme can mean lotus, but nobody knows why the mantra has that meaning. Why would it be important to have a mantra that means "the Jewel in the Lotus?" Why is that meaningful? Why is that the most important mantra in Tibetan Buddhism? Publicly, no one knows, because they have not been initiated into the levels where that knowledge is given. I am going to give you some of that knowledge today.


These syllables have meanings far deeper than the surface level, but even if you look at the superficial level, you can see something very deep. Mani represents the masculine sexual power, a phallus. Padme represents the vagina. The power to create life is in the union of these two, the crossing of male and female. When that union happens in a pure way, without lust or animal desire, when Mani and Padme unite between the Om and the Hum, the result is a divine creative power. That is why "the Jewel in the Lotus" is important, but this meaning has not taught publicly until recently.
Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso


The deeper level of this mantra is taught in secret, and it is related to the secret level of the teachings of Chenrezig, which are that level called Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso. Here we see an image of this level of Chenrezig: He is in his white bodied form, but in sexual union with his consort, his spouse, who is called Vajrayogini. Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso is a Tibetan name that is difficult to translate to English, but it means something more or less like, "The ocean of liberation" or "The Saviour Ocean." It is hard to translate that into English, because those Tibetan words have very deep significance.




Clearly, you can see that Chenrezig relates to sexual knowledge. Yet, monks and nuns of the Tibetan tradition are not initiated into the secret aspect of Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso. So, if you go and ask a monk or nun about the sexual teachings related to Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso, they might get mad or offended. This happened to a friend of mine, that is why I am telling you. We have to be respectful of the level at which every student is working. Do not assume that other people know what you know. We have to respect their level, and the work that they are doing. Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso is the highest Yoga Tantra in Tibetan Buddhism, it is one of the most secret techniques and teachings that is given in Tibetan Buddhism. It is secret knowledge. This means that the vast majority of people in the Tibetan tradition do not know about it. Even though some people may have received an empowerment or lecture about Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso, this does not mean they received the secret teachings of Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso. This means that if you know about the secret aspect of Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso, you should be respectful about it to others when discussing it, or asking about it. Be aware that they may not know.


Nonetheless, in this image we can see Chenrezig in the male form, united with Chenrezig in the female form. One is white and the other red. In Tantric iconography, white and red represent solar and lunar forces, what is known in Sanksrit as Ida and Pingala, while in the Bible they are Adam and Eve, male and female, the two aspects of our vital energy. In other words, this image does not just represent a Deity; it does represent a divine being, but its most important meaning is inside of us, related to our own energies on a very high level, energies that we can learn to harness and utilize. This image represents the creative and destructive power of sexuality.










Monday, November 11, 2013

Sacraments of the daily ordinary life

A page from one of my journals - I am using an old St James Bible



Now is the time to remember that all you do is sacred - Hafiz


All of life is to be held in anointed hands - Joan Chittister


An awareness of the sanctity and sacred nature of our daily lives
and ourselves, lead to an inner blooming and creativity
that flows over into everything we touch and do.

It is important to have a daily practise which brings
you to a place of standstill; a place of contemplation
and silence.
Repeating any practise by rote, or as a habit,
becomes very lifeless and pointless.

One wonderful exercise that I was introduced to many years
ago, is the practise of Lectio Divina.
Lectio Divina is when you take a very short piece of
writing and contemplate on it.
It can be a poem that speaks to you,
or a piece from A Course in Miracles,
or any other book that inspires you.

You can choose a poem for the week and take
a verse per day.
Start the day by reading the verse over and over.
You can then take it into meditation with you.

Or take it with you on your morning walk,
repeating it as you walk.
When one word or phrase jumps out at you
or starts to create a 'shimmer', then
repeat only this word or verse.

After your meditation, or your walk,
take a piece of paper and draw something.
Anything.
No judgement.
Just let it flow.
Use colours, or different pieces of paper,
or cut outs from magazines.
Over time you can collect a cache of
images and crayons and pencils
to play with.

Create a journal and work in it daily.

Becoming enlightened, that is, waking up to the
real world behind the veil of your mind,
takes consistent commitment;
it demands discipline,
daily work,
daily focusing on what is spoken within yourself
with such a small little voice that it is drowned
out by your thoughts and by life.

In order to grow this small voice into a thundering
river of inspiration and intense vitality,
you have to nurture it,
play with it,
make art,
and change your routine.


Silence is never merely the cessation of words .....
Rather it is the pause that holds together - indeed,
it makes sense of - all the words, both spoken and unspoken.
Silence is the glue that connects our attitudes and out actions.
Silence is the fullness,
not emptiness;
it is not absence, but the awareness of a presence. - John Chryssavgis



I picked a piece for your Lectio Divina for this week.
Please use it daily.  Make a journal.
You can use any exercise book, or an old diary,
or make your own journal.
write free flow thoughts,
a poem,a song.



IN SILENCE
by Thomas Merton Lodewicus Maria

Be still
listen to the stones of the wall.
be silent, they try
to speak your

Name.
Listen
To the living walls.
Who are you?
Who
Are you? Whose
Silence are you?

Who (be quiet)
Are you (as these stones
Are quiet).  Do not
Think of what you are
Still less of
What you may one day be.
Rather
be what you are (but who?) be
The unthinkable one
You do not know.

O be still, while
You are still alive,
And all things live around you
Speakng (I do not hear)
to your own being,
Speaking by the Unkown
That is in you and in themselves.

'I will try, like them
To be my own silence:
And this is difficult. The whole
World is secretly on fire. The stones
Burn, even the stones
They burn me. How can a man be still or
Listen to all things burning? How can he dare
To sit with them when
All their silence 
Is on fire?"



Om Shanty, Shalom, In Peace

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Commitment



"When a monk joins a Benedectine community and enters
the monastery, he promises to live according to the Benedectine
way of life.  Three commitments essential to this way of life are
obedience, stability and conversion.
Each is countercultural and challenging the status quo - 
the way we usually go about our lives.' - extract from The Artists' Rule
by Christine Valters Paintner


'Stability is perceived as an antidote to the restlessness of mind
and heart in which a person searches for new experiences, new relationships,
and new geographical locations to escape difficulties or to solve problems
by avoiding them.  This unceasing search for the new and extravagant,
of course, can too often make life and relationships superficial,
and any intimacy between people extremely fragile. 
Stability, however, can help a person stand still and listen,
truly listen, as the Rule encourages one to do. It is similar to what
the Quakers call 'centering down' and Buddhists 'mindfullness';
the discipline of paying attention to 'what is going on in
the present moment; which can give rise 'to insight, awakening and love'.
- Edward C Sellner, Finding the Monk Within




Om Shanty, Shalom, Peace

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Live the questions now



I want to ask you, as clearly as I can, to bear with patience 
all that is unresolved in your heart, 
and try to love the questions themselves,
 as if they were rooms yet to enter or books written in a foreign language. 
Don't dig for answers that can't be given you yet: you live them now. 
For everything must be lived.
 Live the questions now, perhaps then, someday, 
you will gradually, without noticing, 
live into the answer. ~Rainer Maria Rilke



Shalom

Who Am I?

Soulcollage image - Who Am I by HettienneMa



Never stop asking the questions
of the inner self

And you may be surprised by the answers
and therein
lies the challenge.

Which shall it be?
The duality of the mind or
the unity of the Soul?

What is your Philosopher's Stone?

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Knowing thyself

Stop! Soulcollage by Hettienne Ma




Sometimes the best way to figure out
who you are is to get to that place
where you don't have to be
anything else.

Oh Holy Fool give up the quest for enlightenment

Oh Holy Fool!
Do you want to wear the crown of enlightenment?

Holy Fool Soulcollage card by Hettienne Ma - see copyright in sidebar

Oh Holy Fool!!
Give up the quest for enlightenment

What does it mean?
Why become attached to a label?
Can you not see that it is just another driver,
another 'handle',
another clever way of making yourself less
than what you are.

What is the deepest image of your Ishta Devata?
Is it a Divinity of scarcity;
a god that always demands more perfection,
more results, more miracles?
A divinity of abandonment? suffering and sacrifice?




Have you asked yourself
Who is the I that wants to wear the crown of enlightenment??





Friday, October 25, 2013

As you walk, the path unfolds .......

The Guru's feet - Soulcollage image made from magazine images



The path unfolds as you open the door
and step out.
When you put your foot down, the next
part of the path appears.
When you stop, everything stops.
When you turn around to look back,
the path disappears.


Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Am I not your mother?

Dark and Light



"It is well, littlest and dearest of my sons, but now listen to me. 





Do not let anything afflict you and be not afraid of illness or pain. 

Set your inner child free


Am I not here who am your Mother? 




Are you not under my shadow and protection? 



Are you not in the crossing of my arms? 


Is there anything else you need?




Words spoken by Maria  when she appeared to
Juan Diego in Guadulupe in the year 1531.
Here is a link of the full story of miracles
of roses of
the Lady of Guadulupe


Sunday, October 13, 2013

The Purpose if this world and its stories

In this world we learn to know ourselves through Death.  We learn to know the Divine Within through Death.

This may sound ghoulish or dark to the western mind, where focus is always put onto 'light and love' and 'life' and the positive through a denial of Death. The devotees of Kali spend their nights in graves and graveyards;  saddhus cover themselves in ash and declare themselves as dead.

Samadhi, the trance state of at-one-ment means death.


Through death we learn that we are infinite consciousness; through death we learn that there is no separation; through death we learn that this world is only a story; through death we learn that is all is forgiven and always has been.

All fear is ultimately the fear of death. The body fears physical death and the mind fears emotional death and death of its identity and the dying to itself.  And so it dies over and over without truly dying.  It clings onto the story with great passion and investment;  it holds onto opinions and ideas; it defends against attack on its personal value and suffering starts.

The most powerful symbol in the christian world is the sign of death : a crucified Jesus.  And daily the mind crucifies itself without dying and thus prolongs the suffering.

Death leads to rebirth;  from the cross rises an enlightened
Jesus; the phoenix rises from the ashes.

The human mind and heart has the power and ability to liberate itself from suffering.  It has the freedom of choice. You may not be able to choose the drama that you were born into, but you have the power to interpret the story differently and to ultimately drop the story, but in order to do this, the one who is telling the story, has to die.

Every time you walk away from your need for justice; every time you walk away from your need to assert yourself, a part of your identity dies.  Every time you step into meditation and you leave behind the story, you go through a small death.  

The human mind cloaks and hides the Divine Within. When the personal self surrenders to the Divine in the form of the guru or the Ishta Devata, and when the personal self surrenders to the Fire of Shakty,  liberation follows.  But this demands death. Death of the self that you believe to be the sum total of who you are; death of your life as you know it; death of your happiness and comfort zones!

An orgasm is called a small death as you are so absorbed in an experience in your physical body, that you surrender and let go of everything that you are holding onto.  Life introduces on a very physical level, this intense sensation through a 'death'.

Death faces us wherever we look : in time, seasons, food, the dying of the breath, aging, night and day and our own mortality. 

It is said that death is the great leveler of society and it does not spare anyone. Death ends all suffering in every moment. It is only death of the mind that allows the peace that surpasseth all understanding.

in prema










Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Ego, wondrous ego



Ego is part of the dance of who you are. 

It is your vehicle to wisdom.

The body-mind is the Shakty of the Divine, the dance of the Divine Mother.

Your consciousness is Shiva, the Formless Light, seeking 
merging and melding with Shakty, your bodymindsoul,
becoming One in the Immaculate Conception
and thus giving birth to You, your Christed Self,
the Golden child reborn in total acceptance* and freedom*
and unconditional love*

*All of these constitute PREMA, non-judgement and thus
the knowledge that no forgiveness is required.

You, and only You, hold the key, beholds the key,
become the key and your turning in the lock of the hidden gateless gate
is the Redemption and Wisdom.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The river of Light, which is kundalini




The river of Light, which is Kundalini

There are many different views and takes on the
kundalini energy.  In the West it is a strange and unknown
idea that there is a central source of spiritual energy
which feeds the soul and advances her development
without the help of psychology, mental exercises, visualization techniques,
and all kinds of therapy.

The Third Initiation of the Temple of Mary was put together in flow
and energy, to culminate in a kundalini activation and awakening.
A combination of the sacred sound chanting, the journey into the
subconscious with the role playing and the sacred drama
and then the very deep intense shaktypat on the last day;
all working together to
 prepare and open you up to receive the very high vibrations
that is available to you.

It is very important to activate and increase kundalini
whilst working with Divine Love and Bhakty.  This power
is infinite and has incredible power and potential and
can be manifested in unpleasant ways.

The spiritual energy of kundalini makes one more sensitive on many levels.
You become more aware of your own patterns and the play of others around you; you are confronted with your own games and habits and your comfort zone does not allow
the same level of denial as before.  This creates inner tension and pressure.
Then the energy of kundalini works in on the nervous system of the body and 
especially the brain. 

Typically of kundalini are the following :

Moments of deep joy and gratitude, almost to the point of feeling overwhelmed;

Sensation of floating and feeling blissed out and totally ungrounded;

Feeling exhausted and tired;

Feeling overwhelmed by life in general;

Feeling very stressed out, beyond the point of being able to bear it;

Skin sensitivity, eye sensitivity, an upset stomach and cramps in legs.

You may struggle to sleep or to fall asleep.

You may see lights or feel as though a lamp has been turned on in your brain.

The list goes on and on.

During this awakening, it is important to take care of yourself.
Get enough rest.  Go to bed early.
Switch off the chatter of the mind by surrendering.
Spend time sitting outside
Eat grounding food
Drink plenty of water
Take rescue remedy or valerian or one of the calming herbs
Chamomile tea is good
Magnesium powder is essential - Metabole.
Vit B5 (pantothenic acid) also helps.

Do not try to fast during this time nor to go on a healthy detoxing diet. Your
adrenals are already struggling because of kundalini activity – so feed your body
good vegetables and whatever else it craves within reason.

This is the time that you get to know parts of the real you.
You may uncover that you are much more sensitive than what you realized; you may find that you are much tougher than what you thought; when you pay attention to what your body now demands and how it reacts to certain situations, you can gather valuable information about yourself.  You will see how you use to override your true nature and force it into situations or out of situations that your mind thought was best and not what your Real Self wanted.  In this very important time of awakening, you can learn about your conditioning and adopt new behaviours and new belief systems.

Observe which meditations make you feel calmer and focus on those now.
Do not over-stimulate your nervous system by doing too many meditations, nor too
many chants in one day.  Take it easy.  Less is more.  
The nervous system and adrenals will burn out if you do not get enough sleep and
rest and if you continue to stimulate kundalini.  This is the time to trust that
the river of light is flowing and will continue to flow at its own pace.  If you stoke
the fire too much, it will once again burn out and die down.
It is okay not to meditate every day.  You may want to take turns with
japa mala, the sacred heart meditation, the rosary or the chants.
Pace yourself.

What does Love say in this regard?  Observe yourself and do not fall into the
trap of fear.
Trust and go with the flow.